I’m Here, You’re There: Why We’re Ghosting Our Own Friendships.

Hold onto your apple martinis, darlings, because Ashlee’s here, and I've been wrestling with a question that hits closer to home than a bad hair day.

So yesterday, I managed to tear myself away from the love of my life- my laptop and my terrible habit of being addicted to how to solve the ‘I need more money right now’ dilemma- and actually left my house. 

And I’m glad I did, because not only did I need the break, but what I saw when I went into a fast food restaurant single-handedly wrote this post. 

Imagine this scene, Script-Breaker, a table by the corner sat four people silently scrolling through their phone, their faces illuminated by the glow of a screen rather than the sparkle in a friend’s eye. 

I know I’m being dramatic right now, and while this may be  a normal scene, one we have all witnessed and maybe even been the culprit in too many times, it all the same made me wonder if we're all just passively ghosting the people we care about. 

Hear me out. 

We live in a world overflowing with a thousand ways to connect – DMs, texts, FaceTimes, Tweets, Snaps, TikToks. 

Yet, sometimes it feels like we’re all living behind a screen, too scared to send the one text that actually matters:  "Hey, how are you... really?" 

Or when the magical stars finally align and we can see each other face to face, but we’re just as disconnected as ever. 

My fabulous friend Sarah, a woman who usually lights up every room she enters, recently confessed something that stopped me in my tracks- I want to say Louboutins, but who are we kidding here?

Anyway, Sarah’s been feeling completely isolated, even though her phone is constantly buzzing with way too many group chats. (I’d have left or archived them by now, tbh)

She described it as being in a crowded room, surrounded by digital chatter, but feeling utterly alone. 

It hit me then, like a perfectly aimed flash of a friend sniping terrible looking candids.

 How many times have I typed "I’m fine!" in a text when, in reality, I've been a complete mess, silently wrestling with life's dramas?

It’s easy to get caught up in the performance of perpetual fabulousness, isn't it? 

We curate our online personas, showcasing the highlights reel while the messy, vulnerable, utterly human parts get filed away in the drafts folder. 

But what about the friends who should be seeing those unedited, unfiltered moments? 

The ones who’ve seen us through bad breakups and even worse fashion choices?

Don’t they deserve our real presence? 

The kind where we’re not more connected to our phone and the virtual world within, but to the humans who are there, in front of us who we can be our unscripted selves with.

So maybe the challenge isn’t just in what’s happening, or the cute kitten you’re following in the You Tube Shorts, or even in  finding "the one"—be it a soulmate, a dream job, or the perfect pair of shoes. 

Maybe the real quest, the truly exhilarating adventure, is in keeping the ones we already have. 

After all, a solid, sparkling connection is a two-way street, a delicate dance of showing up and being present.

And I have to ask myself… am I showing up on both sides? 

Am I sending the "how are you... really?" text? 

Am I putting down my phone long enough to truly listen, truly connect, truly be there?

Because sometimes, the greatest luxury isn't a designer bag or a first-class ticket. 

It's the messy, beautiful, unscripted reality of a real-life conversation with a friend who knows your heart.

XOXO, Ashlee