The Unplugged Power Lunch: Why Your Friendship Needs a Signed Contract

Realising that you’re passive-aggressively ghosting the people you love most is not an easy pill to swallow. 

Harder still is the realization that the crux of the problem is our obsession with distractions and of course the sheer laziness of settling for a meme instead of a meaningful conversation.

So now, as I stand in line at the Supermarket, bored even as my mind  races a mile a minute, I can’t help but wonder if we aren’t treating our friendships like casual situationships? 

Enjoying  all the fun without the commitment? 

All the history without the current presence?

Script-Breakers, is this really what we’ve been allowing ourselves to do? 

As someone who is 100% a culprit here, I believe it or not actually do know that a great friendship isn’t a pair of disposable flip-flops, rather it's a high-end couture piece. 

It requires maintenance, dry cleaning, and intentional attention.

So it's time to stop treating our ride-or-dies like background noise in our curated life and move to the next step of this journey. 

It’s an unscripted power move: We are drafting a non-negotiable Friendship Contract. 

Rule #1: The 'Unplugged Power Lunch'

We give more respect to a meeting with our boss than we do to a date with our bestie. 

We wouldn't dare scroll through TikTok during a job interview, so why do we do it when we're face-to-face with a friend who knows our darkest secrets and worst exes?

The Rule: Any planned hang-out—coffee, cocktails, or a disastrous DIY project—is now designated an Unplugged Power Lunch. 

The phones go into the center of the table, silent, face-down. The first person to touch theirs pays for the entire round of drinks (or deluxe, loaded avocado toast, depending on the current vibe).

It’s about signaling to your friend (and your own easily distracted brain) that this connection is the priority. 

It’s a literal power move, demanding presence in a world that thrives on distraction.

Rule #2: The ‘Vulnerability Veto’

We all do it: "Hey, how are you?" 

"I’m fine!" 

Lies!

 We learned in the last post that "I'm fine" is the default setting for the woman who doesn't want to break character.

 It’s the ultimate act of passive ghosting—we show up, but only the polished avatar.

The Rule: You and your most trusted confidantes have a Vulnerability Veto word or phrase. 

When one of you says it (or texts it), the other is required, by contract, to drop the facade.

It could be a dramatic word like "Unscripted," or something simple like "Really?" 

When the veto is thrown, the answer to "How are you?" must be messy, unedited, and absolutely true. 

No performance, no saving face. This is where the real investment—the real connection—is made.

Rule #3: The ‘Intentional Text’ (The New DM)

We spam each other with hilarious memes and reels, but we haven't actually checked on their soul in weeks.

The Rule: For every three memes you send, you must send one Intentional Text. 

This is not a "How are you?" text. This is a specific check-in:

"Hey, remember that job presentation you were freaking out about? How did it go? Tell me the brutal  truth."

"I was watching [Asian Drama/SATC re-run], and it made me think of that terrible date you went on. Are you okay?"

It says: I was actually listening to you. I remember your life. That, dahlings, is the new love language of friendship.

We spend so much time looking for "The One" (be it a man, a job, or the perfect apartment) that we forget the greatest status symbol in a millennial woman's life is a solid, sparkling circle of friends.

A friend who truly knows your heart, your chaos, and your completely unscripted moments is a priceless luxury. 

It’s time we showed them the money.

XOXO,

Ashlee