Views from the Cliff

Standing at the top of the cliff, I feel both powerful and humbled as I take in the sheer majesty of picturesques views of my island home and the roiling waves of the sea just below my feet.

My breaths come deeper, faster and heavier, forcing my lungs to expand so they can greedily fill with sea-salted,fresh air, while my eyes are narrowed – squinting against the glare of the high morning sun, as I stare transfixed at the powerful sight before me.

My heart is beating loudly against my chest, the thumps reverberating throughout my body as the big, blue and powerfully undulating sea consistently launch increasingly large waves with reckless abandon against the sandy shore and the cliff itself; the loud and rhythmic sound of the crashing impacts oddly soothing in an exciting yet familiar way.

It’s a bright and sunny day. 

The sky is blue with a few wisps of clouds scattered along its expanse, the high wind coming off of the raging sea whips around me from my position on top of the cliff, while the sun’s hot rays bite sharply into my skin, stinging the exposed expanse smugly, making it glow and tighten.

Taking in another huge breath of sea-salt air, I’m determined to soak this moment into my marrow. I want- need- to tattoo this experience into my mind and body for when I need to feel this level of alive and awed again.

 I turn my head to the right, taking in the sloping, rocky hills covered in the short, dense shrub of the sea-grape plants that carpet the hill side, before moving downwards to watch the vast, deep blue sea rolling beneath me, determinedly delivering loads of sargassum seaweed onto the sandy shores, like it’s their day job.

I feel simultaneously at peace and excitedly delighted to finally be outside after lockdown started so many weeks ago and I can’t help but be enraptured by the beauty of the sea and the more rugged elements of nature, that I’ve been more or less deprived of since then.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been on top of a cliff, if ever and I’m abit surprised at how comfortable I am on this one, especially since I’m not a fan of heights, but today there is just something about standing here on these broad ledges that make me feel safe while the unbridled crashes of water smashing against whatever is in its path, all coalesce into making me feel like I can fly. 

It makes me feel  free, as if I can drop my many burdens, pressures and stressors right into that vast, surging water and let them sink into the deeper, murkier depths, forever drowned never to bother me again.

I take a deep breath of the fresh, sea-salt laced air, letting it fill up my lungs to almost over capacity before I slowly let it all out through my lips, embracing that euphoric feeling of freedom that’s already lighting up my chest, emanating from my heart itself.

I take several moments to enjoy the light growing inside of me, feeling it spreading throughout my body slowly, before radiating outward through my chest and limbs, liberating me of the stresses and burdens I’ve been carrying for months. 

My shoulders noticeably sag, the tension draining from them, and my limbs feel almost weightless; I’m smiling so much, my nose is scrunched up and my whole body just feels lighter- perks up even- ,and I’m imbued with unadulterated energy.

I’ve never known what it is about the sea specifically that brings these feelings out of me -maybe it’s the way the sea is just so majestic, maybe it’s the way the waves are so happy to play with the wind unconcerned with anything else, maybe it’s the way the wind itself is so wild and carefree, maybe it’s all of these things, but what I do know right now is that I want to be exactly like all those elements.

I want to be free, playful and excited about my existence without any reservations or botherations.

“This is so freaking amazing!” I yell into the wind, feeling myself grow lighter and more unburdened as the seconds pass.

My thoughts are lighter, happier and full of enjoying the beauty I’m surrounded by. 

They are coming in quick; noticing every little thing about this exclusive and quiet spot my friend has taken me to, including the rocky cliffs to the crevices, the vast sea, the way the broad ledge is carpeted with healthy looking green flora.

For the first time in a long time, I just feel happy. 

Lifting my gaze up, I bask in the slight stings from the sun's rays and watch how the wisps of clouds sluggishly moving across the blue sky, seamlessly blend with the white crashing of waves upon the deep, blue sea, and the visual does wonders for wiping my mind from all the thoughts, worries and insecurities that have been plaguing my mind for far too long.

I can feel myself spiraling upwards for a change, instead of down into the murky, black sludge that always seems to be laying in wait to trap me in its dark despair, lowering my good vibrations and stressing me out. 

I can feel my more positive emotions burst through my chest; no longer imprisoned in the vault I had encased them in- out of fear- , spilling within me and making me feel wonderfully recharged.

There is nothing to fear here. 

Everything is open and  expansive  here. 

This plateau I’m on, looks like it goes on for ages and just behind where I’m standing, there is a grassy pasture that spreads out, inviting me to indulge in my love of walks in nature. It honestly feels as if I could walk for miles in either direction, just enjoying the vistas that only Mother Nature can artistically create.

It feels like I’m finally free to yell, scream, and laugh as wildly as I want while giving into my curiosity and need to further explore-, in short not only do I feel free, but I also feel safe. 

While there is a line of houses behind us in the far distance behind us, right now there is only me and my friend who had teased my desire to visit this spot by describing it as his ‘thinking place’ and I totally understand why he would come here to ponder on life in blessed solitude. 

This stretch of land is gorgeous, and perfect in the way only nature can create when left to its own devices and after only leaving the house almost exclusively for grocery shopping missions for months on end, I’m beyond thankful he chose to share this wonderful space with me.

Breathing in the clean, crisp air as it whips at me, I jump from one ledge to a closer one with him, not daring to actually go too far over or down the crevices cracked into the cliff.

If it had been any other day, I’d probably second guess acting so childishly, but today I’ve decided to just go for it, to immerse myself in that flowing, euphoric feeling of being playful and spending face-to face time with a long-time friend.

For the first time in a very long time, I encourage  my inner child to come out and play, feeling how beyond excited she is to do just that now that she’s finally been giving permission.

My inner child has been cooped up for too long, struggling under the pressures  and frustrations of me trying to ‘adult’, but today, in this open space, with this feeling of freedom and playfulness, it’s the best time and ideal location to let her out to have as much fun as she wants.

It’s time to play!

I wish I could say that the journey from my home to the sea cliffs was a peaceful one but in reality it was wildly fraught with obstacles that jolted my heart every time.

Firstly I had to contend with my friend’s penchant for driving too speedily and taking corners on the road way too abruptly.

His foot, I learnt, loves to push down on the gas pedal and he seems to really enjoy the feeling of flying as we hurtle towards our destination; however, all I could do in the face of my own fearful adrenaline rush was  force myself to take several deep breaths, while holding on for dear life to my tight seat-belt.

We drove swiftly down the kinds of long, winding roads found only in the countryside, sandwiched between glorious stretches of green pastures, and riddled with potholes in concerning places, before giving way to brightly painted, small housing developments.

Taking another deep breath, I roll my shoulders and press my back intentionally into  the comfortable passenger seat of his SUV as we move from the familiar areas and  through somewhat unfamiliar territories.

The scenery whips past me at speed, but  this is when it hits me that I am really in a SUV with my friend and we are on the way to a relaxing destination, rather than my usual of only leaving home to pay bills or buy groceries.

It's slowly sinking in as I get further and further away from my usual environments, that I’m free today.

No sooner had that realization sunk in and I felt the first taste of real excitement for the day, than we see workmen in their bright reflector jackets waving us down, and just like that we are forced to slow down because the road they are working on is very narrow and half of it is straight up unusable.

Naturally, my friend was forced to slow down and concentrate on successfully navigating around the gaping hole on our side of the road.

While I was happy for the reprieve from the speeding vehicle, I have to admit that seeing half of a road missing, did nothing for the fear and panic that jolted through my whole system.

It was a tight squeeze, maneuvering the vehicle around the hole, careful to not only avoid it but also go around the big, loud and menacing  machines which sat in the middle of said road.

It was not a fun experience,and after we cleared that, driving past other vehicles waiting to take their turn in passing over the obstacles, I was forced yet again to contend with the too quick acceleration of the vehicle on the newly empty road.

My friend really is a speed fiend and while the sheer swift pace of the vehicle racing along the road so quickly that I can barely make out the whizzing by scenery is scary, I’m more concerned that he can drive efficiently even at that speed.

I’m not into reckless driving, and I believe in safety first and foremost- which to me means knowing your level of expertise, being aware of your surroundings and knowing your limits.

To this end, I’m securely strapped into the passenger seat of this racing, black SUV, blessedly high off the ground and apart from sending well timed glares his way, set off from ill timed bumps of huge potholes and firm affirmations that I shall not die in a vehicle- something I calmly remind my ‘friend’ -, I settle down to drink in every bit of the open, green beauty of my island home as I can.

After long weeks in quarantine broken up only by increasingly stressful grocery shopping missions, replete with unbelievably long lines and loads of restrictions before I even get close to the store’s entrance, I am very happy to not only be outside feeling the cool, moist air on my parched skin, but also to be talking to someone face to face who is not related to me.

Honestly, he had me at  “Want to hang out today?” because while I am well versed in the art of working from home and even just spending long hours within my home, even I recognize the health benefits of not going stir crazy.

And really, who would say no to the added bonus of gulping in picturesque views of tropical Barbados, while being escorted?

No one!

The area we finally drive up to is a quiet, but funny one to me.

It’s a place where the houses are all lined up in single file up the soft incline of a hill, and right in front of it is a wide, straw colored pasture, but just beyond that in front of us is a wall of sea-grape shrubs and, beyond those, the muted crashing sounds of what I know to be turquoise waves beckons.

In order to enjoy this view, we first have to cross a muddy, slushy pathway that abruptly yawns wide at the end of the well paved road that led us here.

As we attempt to drive over the wet grass, the vehicle bodily shudders before we feel it shift unexpectedly to the right.

Its wheels are spinning against the wet and muddy grass, not gaining the traction it needs to move forward, causing me to flail in my seat, heart rate spiking at the unexpected jolt that shakes the entire vehicle.

The tires squelch loudly, mud flying in circling arcs away from the black rubber, but it feels like they slip even more heavily into the muddy pasture, as my friend guns the engine to a roar, stubbornly determined to get us towards the drier, firmer road ahead.

With each shudder and sound of mud being dug through, I imagine us flipping over, and honestly, it’s starting to feel like a test of might,  to see if we’re worthy enough to enjoy the beckoning views just a few feet away, hidden behind a row of tall sea-grape shrubs.

My friend has decided we are worthy.

Pressing determinedly onwards, it becomes evident that the mud does not care at all about my need to be one with nature and see the breathtaking views only sea cliffs provide.

In fact, it seems nonchalant about the whole thing, whereas I am properly scared because suddenly, the vehicle feels too loose as it squishes and shifts laterally in the mud. 

Panicked, I instinctively grip my seat and anything else I can find to brace myself for what feels like the inevitable.

I only just manage to not also grip onto my friend, who is too busy being determined to get us over the mud pit to notice that my stomach is moving with the vehicle as well.

Finally, we make it through the trial, the vehicle also determined to conquer this muddy ravine, especially when for a blessedly brief moment, the wheels seem to be straight up stuck in the mud.

The tires were uselessly turning over, while the high humming whine of the engine raging leaves me for one serious moment to consider the very real possibility of us flipping right over, before with one mighty push and a sorta jump from the vehicle and  we are free of the slush, landing safely on solid, grassy road.

When I say ‘road’ in this instance I simply mean a well threaded track, complete with dry earth and a few embedded tiny, white and grey stones.

My friend looks at me as we drive onto the safe track with the kind of smug expression that says he always knew we would, before asking, “Where should we park? You choose.”

I laugh at this because honestly, it all looks the same; miles of grassy, dirt track encasing a wide expanse of cliffs, from where I can see.

Scanning the surroundings more, I choose the left of the track, which is shrouded all the way around by what looks to be the broad, circular leaves of tightly clustered sea-grape shrubs.

I get super excited at the sight of this fruit bearing shrub, immediately carrying a faint hope that at least one of those shrubs will have the unique tasting, small, purple when ripe fruit on them.

As we make our way to our selected parking area, I can hear the unique sound of waves rolling and crashing in the near distance, beckoning for me to come see them louder and more seductively than any siren call ever could.

This call is enough to cause a warm thrill of anticipation to zing through me, reminding me I’m free to enjoy myself today with blessedly no responsibilities on my shoulders, only fun times ahead now that I have arrived safely at my destination.

It’s a super hot day, the sun happily shining from high in the vibrant blue sky and when I hop out of the now parked SUV onto the grassy ground I feel the unique bite of the sun’s rays, beating down, stinging my skin.

Looking around the expansive area, I confirm that there really is no one else here but us, the grassy slopes and the beckoning views of the sea.

It really is a nice place to be alone with your thoughts, a natural place to come and let it all out. I can see myself coming here to yell and scream, when I’m overcome with too much stress and overwhelm or when things just aren’t going my way.

I think I could yell, scream, curse as loudly and as manically as I dare and it would all be swallowed by the brisk wind and the crashing of the waves against each other.

It’s a place I could come to meditate, taking in deep breaths of clean air, letting my thoughts fly away from me in the sea-salted air, while the sun’s rays to beat down upon me, as I stretch out on a blanket, allowing my mind to empty as my spirit drinks up the vast majesty of the sea, which in turn will fill me with wonderment, love and fantasy.

It’s definitely a place I would return to get my Zen on, but I already know I’ve forgotten the way we came, honestly it’s all a blur to me and I can barely remember the landmarks anyway.

I take a big lungful of sea-salt and sunshine air, feeling myself get excited by simply being here, but now that I am here, and can see the rolling waves in the distance from the safety of the SUV’s shadow, I know I want to get an even closer look.

Grabbing my phone from inside of the SUV, I make my way over to the sloping green cliffs.

It’s rocky where I stand on the plateau, with clumps of random grass between the dark slate-grey, weathered by time and sea spray formations.

It doesn’t feel as if I’m on a cliff, as the topography slopes gently down towards the beach far, far below me, but as I look down, I can see the way the sea-grape shrubs freely carpet the rocks and the Sargassum sea-weed floats unhurriedly from the sea onto the sandy shores, coloring them a dried, dark burgundy.

I can barely hear the true loudness of the waves crashing onto the shore through the happy chaos of my own heart’s racing thumps against my ribcage, and as I stand at a safe distance from the edge, I struggle to breathe for a moment.

The sheer majesty of the sea, of the view and the feeling of the heat from the sun’s rays are all almost too overwhelming for me, but I simply cannot look away.

All of this feels so freeing and the magnitude of it shocks my system with how quickly and forcefully it zips through my whole being.

It assaults my senses in the best of ways and I happily and willingly give into it.

With each lungful, I smell the sea, a scent I hadn’t noticed I’d been missing so terribly until this very moment.

The salt of the sea, the unique smell that characterizes the rolling waves, the wet sand and the other aromas of nature, all a heady mix as I breathe it all in deeply ,feeling more alive and happy in this moment than I have since quarantine started.

I’ve been without this for so long, even before lockdown and I honestly hadn’t realized how much I had missed everything about this- being out in nature, safe and free, with all the aspects I enjoy abundantly laid out before me.

I’m an Earth sign and nothing makes me happier, or gives me more peace of mind than being enveloped by beautiful nature.

Greedily I’m soaking it all in.

I’m not hard to please, especially after lockdown, where the only places I’ve been going were the supermarkets to shop once a week and while I have enjoyed spending more time with my family, having more conversations and in many ways getting to know them better, I miss the easy camaraderie of spending time with my friends.

Being an introvert and an online entrepreneur, I’m not highly social to begin with and it is true that the lockdown was not as harsh on me as it was on others, especially given how close I live to my mother’s side of the family, but I still lament how stuck I had started to feel.

How restricted and fearful it all was, coming on the heels of my Dad suddenly passing away and having to figure out his funeral under new Covid-19 protocols and informing most of  his friends who we didn’t even know via his mobile and social media about his abrupt passing.

It has been a very harsh and chaotic, not to mention highly emotionally charged couple of months for me and my family. And so I genuinely appreciate being able to take a break from all of it!

Being here in the sunshine with no responsibilities, being with one of my best friends of over two decades just existing and catching up on life together, I feel my muscles relax, the tension slipping away from them.

My thoughts are no longer buzzing in my mind like annoying bees stressing over lack of money or financial overwhelm, rather they are rising in a positive vibration full of this needed feeling of being free.

Faced with such striking vistas, there is no space for self-deprecating, scathing thoughts, fear inducing doubts nor disparaging insecurities.

The vast endlessness of the sea seeks to unburden me of them all and I willingly surrender to it.

Staring at the skyline, I think about the difference in my life and how quickly it can all change.

Just before Covid-19 came to Barbados, I had finally established a standing, weekly lunch date with my friend Jenna, where we would meet in Bridgetown or by her house to just hang out and connect.

I like to think of those times as us reaffirming our bonds while encouraging each other on our individual entrepreneurship journeys.

Those times were alot more fun that I truly appreciated and now that I’m not able to go on them, thanks to the quarantine, I can admit that I miss being able to talk and spend time with her face to face.

I miss going to our favorite little café and eating pizza fries, samosas and desserts, while catching up and encouraging each other through our various entrepreneurial and personal trials.

I almost miss her tugging me into jewelry stores and boutiques, eyes alight and talking a mile a minute in a bid to both get me into the stores and to distract me from the fact that we’re already in them.

Almost.

There will come a day where we can resume this little tradition of ours, I know and I look forward to it, hoping now that when we do, we are in much improved places in our lives, businesses and are even healthier.

Afterall, with everyone being inside for this length of  time, while it was as rough as it was unexpected, shocking our systems and disrupting our routines, it was also a time to think about where you wanted to be in life and even plan a way there.

At least it was for me, after I could think again without feeling like I was going to drown in the fear that gripped the world for months and me on a more personal level.

Today, I’m thankful for being outside.

I needed the break and I have been looking forward to taking a vacation for a while now.

After the trials and experience of the strong coffee day, I had decided that a break was needed and today, I’m happy I get to actually go outside of my home without stressing about whether or not I have enough money to refill my car with gas- because my friend drove, and I’m in a place where my brain can genuinely feel free and playful again.

At this moment, I feel a good 50% more creative than I’ve felt in a long while and I can feel the sheer power of the joy infused energy surge up within me, spreading through my body and tingling as it moves through my fingertips.

Overcome with happiness and accepting the sting of the sun on my skin- something I haven’t felt like this in months, I recorded a short video of the rolling, crashing waves, showing the cliffs and wishing my social media followers a great day as well.

I want to share this moment with others and keep it as a souvenir for myself later on to remember.

There is probably more brash, static wind in the video than I would prefer, but I’m not going to grudge it, not today.

As I take the video, angling myself around for the best views, I become aware that my friend has started his own exploration on the plateau.

He is way more extroverted than I and is blithely jumping from rock formation to rock formation around the jagged plateau.

I expected this honestly, but it is when he decides to go down the cliff face with the wild exuberance of an excitable, unleashed puppy that I put my foot down.

I am not about this at all.

Firstly, he’s my ride back home and so I cannot risk him being injured, because as we have established I’m totally lost on how we even got here. Retaining directions to new places is not my forte.

Secondly, I’m not going to even try to risk going down that edgy cliff to drag him back up, so prevention in this case is as always even better than cure.

Also, how do I explain to his wife that I totally abandoned her husband when he fell down a cliff we were hanging out at? (I mean she may understand, but still ...)

I’m successful in convincing him to come back up on the plateau with me, and I wonder if he tries this kind of thing on his own when he comes here by himself. I shake my head at that because he probably does.

My idea of exploration on this plateau involves moving laterally from one spot to another to get better views, safely.

Now that I’ve had my fill of photos and videos to commemorate this experience and to post later on my social media platforms, but really because I largely no longer trust him at this cliff end, I suggest exploring the expansive areas more.

I noticed some interesting looking areas that are calling our names just behind and to the left of where we parked and I am ready to go for my walk in nature.

My inner child is beyond ready to explore the non-cliff areas of this space and I’m about to largely indulge her.

Let the Exploration Begin Pt 1

I’m a walker and if given half a chance the lengths I can cover, especially when hiking or simply exploring a new space filled with the wonders of natural sights are amazing because it’s the one activity that I can happily get lost in easily. 

Walking is the perfect activity for when I need to mentally work out a problem, or on those occasions where my body feels too stressed out, and needs to let all that tense energy out, while giving me the space to distance my mind from the problem at hand so I can better find the solution in a faster and wiser way than simply staying still.

For me, nothing beats nice, long walks surrounded by nature. 

This not only goes a long way in soothing me, but as I hear the soft crunch of grass under my feet, feel the calming breeze caressing my skin, the sun warming me up from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, I feel grounded and  more connected to the Earth. 

Walking in nature makes my brain work better.

I love allowing my senses to luxuriate in the sheer wild and sometimes chaotic beauty of Mother Nature, and the practice never fails to raise my vibrations, making me feel happier and lighter, encouraging me to slow down my thoughts, and  appreciate these present moments and sensations more.

I feel whole in a way that I could never truly, properly articulate.

The longer I walk and the more sights I see of nature thriving the happier I am, the easier it is for me to smile, laugh and for the excitement  of being alive and here to witness it all progressively fills my whole body.

As we turn away from the breathtaking sea cliffs, facing more towards his parked, black SUV, I am more than ready to indulge in my favourite activity and walk all over the greenery this new environment has to offer. 

My heart is already soaring at the sight of this grass carpeted expanse, beyond ready to indulge my senses and appreciate this unique, chest filling feeling of freedom and friendly,fun possibilities.

As we pass by a small cluster of young sea-grape shrubs that are at the top of the incline leading to this plateau area,- none of which were ripe yet, sadly- I allow my curiosity to come the forefront,  as I glean information from my friend about his experiences here, while my eyes drink in the beauty of this day and ponder which direction we should tackle first.

This is when he lets slip that even though this is one of his favourite spots, he hasn’t actually explored the area, preferring to just come to the cliffs, or sometimes just staying inside of  his car and letting his thoughts pass as he listens to the satisfying crash of the waves breaking below.

That is about to change drastically.

My inner child wants to go on an adventure in this beautiful place, especially after I’ve kept her cooped up at home barely leaving the house or having any real chance for true fun for entirely too long. 

She is not about to just go sit in the parked SUV and chat, at least not until she has discovered more about this place. 

My inner child is naturally curious, impulsive and can be a little impetuous, which means that whenever I’m in a place like this, covered in soft, green grass, the sounds of waves crashing and retreating, her need to explore awakens with a vengeance and I have no choice but to investigate to her heart's content.

Have to!

And so as we pause by his SUV, I notice a few electricity lines in the sky and get a peek of a house in the distance surrounded by tall bushes.

 It stands to reason that this area should be perfect for brief exploration, because electricity lines mean people and today, the existence of people living in that bushy area equates to a positive margin of safety for me. 

To be clear, when I say ‘safety’, I mean that it’s less likely for there to be rabid or wild animals around, since people living there should mean consistent traffic. 

It’s my hope that this traffic will lead to less of an aggressive response by any possible wild animals in the area because it’s likely that they may be familiar with the odd behaviours of humans and hopefully avoid them- and us. 

This is the logic I use to choose the path, regardless of whether it is correct or just wishful thinking. In any case I know that I am very safe with my friend, and even if we have to run for our lives, he won’t abandon me completely and really, that’s all I can ask for.

With the first direction selected, we fall into the kind of ridiculous and childish banter and bickering that has characterized our over two decade’s long friendship, slowly making our way closer and closer to the curious electric lines.

We’re chatting and mostly- playfully shoving each other like teens on summer break having all the time in the world to do what they want and free of judgment, when I see it.

It’s glorious and absolutely calling to my inner child!

Have you ever come across something that immediately sparks happiness within your soul?

Something that you just have to experience or explore and you know it’s going to be totally worth it?

That’s exactly what this thing is for me, the moment I lay my eyes upon it and with the sun beating down just that tad bit too much, I decide that it’s just perfect for my curious exploration needs right now.

There to my surprise a few paces away in front of us, but just below me is a natural tunnel- or should I call it an alcove?- formed from very tall, overarching sea-grape shrubs, intertwining their branches on either side of a dirt track- the kind you would find in fairy tales and some romantic movies!

The only problem I’m faced with now however, is how to get to it. 

You see,  the initial path I had chosen with my friend,  which I thought was leading towards the mysteriously hidden and en-shrubbed house,  placed us on a level of land above the tunnel heading in the same direction.

This means me and my friend now have to figure out how to jump down, from this level, to reach the ground and the tunnel I’m excited to explore, like the Disney Princess I am at heart. 

Now this may have seemed like a simple thing initially, but the longer we walk, hoping to find an easy path that would intersect with the lower level, the more I notice that there are no connecting paths nor gaps between the branches and skinny trunks of the tightly clustered fruit shrubs. 

Huh, well that’s interesting and now I’m curious about two things, the tunnel below us and where this path we’re on actually leads to, but first things first. That first thing for me is to explore the tunnel.

We double back abit, looking for a way into the tunnel, realizing that there must be an entranceway that we hadn’t noticed as we walked up the previous slope.

Suddenly, my friend finds a break in the branches and with very little trepidation jumps down, landing like an agile cat on the leafy ground below.

 I, on the other hand, make my way down to the cool alcove with the speed and alacrity of an elderly woman, who is not about breaking any of her fragile but still working bones.

What?

I’m in my thirties and in these kinds of times I’m not looking to cause any injuries to this body if I can help it! I intend to not only be very healthy, but also stay as far from my doctor’s office as humanly possible.

The ground, although dry, is a little loose and I am prone to sliding on old leaves, plus the crumbling dirt from the ledge as I step down. It is not a huge jump down, but it is a noticeable one, which I am fully prepared to take very carefully. 

I’m not about twisting my ankles on my one day out of the house, in months!

I’m excited, yes but that will never make me less careful when it comes to me facing off against heights and gravity.

Finally we are on the ground and my desire is just a few feet away from me. 

The tunnel is cool, breezy, and abit dark, with the shadows of the branches lining the loose earth of the floor. 

 I’m dying to go all the way through it and see where it leads. 

If I look straight ahead, I can see that it leads to an open area of green- composed of more bushy plants, overgrown tall grasses, and even more thickets of the sea-grape shrubs. The floor of the tunnel looks well worn, as if frequently used by people, but surprisingly clean. 

Vehicles and by my guess large vehicles like SUVs definitely frequent here and I’ve decided this based on  the wide expanse of the tunnel itself and the way the debris seem to line up.

The floor of the tunnel sports dried leaves on either side of its edges, but the middle, while looking firm and packed in, is filled with loose gravel and the unmistakable evidence of heavy vehicular tracks, embedded into it.

I joke that this tunnel may be the Barbadian version of the road that will lead us either to Narnia or the Wizard of Oz. 

In an ironic turn of events, the same friend who held no fear in jumping from ledge to ledge, or trying his luck going down a seriously sloped cliff, is not at all enthused about the solitude of this tunnel.

He is even less enthused about furthering our exploration through the tunnel, his body tensing as if expecting an ambush from the debris, and that is not the kind of scenario nor energy I’m willing to allow right now.

So I do what anyone in my situation would…I call upon years of friendship in my passionate bid to persuade him to allow us to walk just to the end, even as I’m actually eagerly dying to see what is on the other side of this archway.

From our position, I can already see more vibrant, green lushness and I’m a hairsbreadth from simply racing away to explore it all, damn his protective instincts and all.

Nature is calling to me and everything in me is ready to answer ,and greedily drink in these lush signs of vibrant life as I can.

I have just about convinced him that it’s a great idea to just let me explore to the end of the tunnel when the worst thing happened!

A  sharp, scratchy and very loud sound of something unidentified rustling in the debris, rudely intrudes and stomps on what felt like hours- but was probably just minutes- of my hard convincing work.

Son of a bitch!

My friend is already very overprotective when it comes to me, especially if we are in any situation that he can imagine presenting any danger, which can be both a blessing and a curse depending on our moods.

I like feeling safe, and I appreciate his instincts, but I’m also stubborn enough to break away from my safety net if it interferes with my plans…like right now.

He is taller than me, but not by much, is very, very strong, swift and practices both dance and martial-arts the way others breathe air.

When I’m with him, I trust his instincts and I always feel safe, because in the over two decades of our friendship, I have learnt that he will always protect me. With him, I can usually lay down my need to control the situations and feel free to be more playful, less alert.

We challenge each other, because if I’m honest I never willingly give over all control, but when it comes to his zone of genius, I am willing to be led. While he can be flirtatious, and sometimes really challenges my comfort zones with how clingy he can be, his like of skinship that I’m still getting accustomed to  and our level of rough if mostly playful physicality, I always know I’m safe.

So when the noise, the very real threat to our safety, sounds into the quiet, thoroughly disrupting our playfulness I know that my plans are fully thwarted.

In the span of one heartbeat to the next we’ve both switched from banter to full on high alert.

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